Diaries and memories... II

Something I wrote in 2001.. Must have been real pissed that day.. {Pissed: colloquial expression for anger. also colloquial expression for drunk.}

Is that light I see
Or is it just a reflection?
Of the pain in me
Is it fear
Those who are near
They'll be the first to mock
Cause a tear

Is there any goodness in me
Or just plain imperfection
Will I ever see reason
My life's unending season
It it the heat
Or the harsh taste of cold
Which way will my heart mold?

The knife in your heart
The more its pulled
The more it hurts

... **The Darker Side of Life**...

As the sun goes upThe day is warmer
the life of eternity springs up
Opens new doors & new horizons
Makes way for te spring, and beauty

But what of me, the eternal soul
Am I not the beast, living like a mole.
He lives by night, afraid of the day
The nocturnal creature, befriending the dark
Who sent me here, my hell of joy
Ecstatic pleasure, torturous pain. an agony always

Can anyone help me, help huh?
Do I need help, one hand raised
The other on the trigger, ready to shoot
Me, or my enemy- one and the same.

What's that light, ever blinking
In the corner of my eye
My blind spot, or am I blind
I can't see beyond the lies
Are they facades, or is the truth itself one.

My handicapped soul, searching for the truth
Stumbling on the bodies of others as me
Even as I see, the obstacles
That lay ahead of me, or the bricks
That are to send me, to higer ground
Away from the mess, the crowd
Of the sorrowful and mindless
Am I not one of them, I think not
I'm mot mindless- I'm still searching
Not for heaven or hell
But for solid ground on which to stand
And say out loud - I'm alive

The bats mock me
They're blind, but they see my pain
If I were to fly, I wish I could
I'd be a bat
I'd see beyond sight
Then my ears wouldn't lie
Only the truth, undistorted and pure
Else I'd be the eagle
And fly for freedom. beyond barriers
Higher than high
The prince of the sky
Doing what I'd like, followin my own will
Fly away from the pain
Of the world & my soul
Leave the dark behind
Way- way below
And the sun would bow
Before me, as always
The eternal soul.

Diaries and memories... I

I found a diary in my cupboard.. y'kno whr I keep my secret stash of pirates gold and the first print of my past life's autobiography- of course I did not write the bio.. someone else did. I just dictated. I was a bird then, an eagle, and some chap heard me and wrote about me- "The Know-how edition on Eagles". I that dairy I found in bold.. (this one in my hand).. AVOID GURLS.. I dunno why i write 'girls' as 'GURLS' (pronounce the same) but I wrote this in class VII. Heck
know why!! What a joke .. as if girls CAN be avoided.. :D

Ok the diary:  [1997-2002]
Its really fascinatingly wierd now that I read all that I wrote in it.. some I can't mention- not cos they are private,
but cos they are just too much crap!! (I wonder if I'll think the same of all that I'm writing now, say 10 years down the line. I'm sure I will.) But what the heck.. I'm gonna bring some out.. Now don't be scared.. I wrote some crazed out shit.. but I do like some of my work.. Butin some.. Man I was Angry back then.. Will probably scan some of my drawings back then n uplowad them sometime.. again don't be scared.. Just read on.

Disclaimer: The author of the following was too dumb and probably still is so, so read at own risk. Please do not file lawsuit against him for breaching his own childhood self's trust and cruelly printing such dumb shit. Thank you. Enjoy.




Random Thoughts

I smile when I feel like crying
End up laughing the whole day
To skip those tears
I face my fears
A splash of red on this life so grey

Is this the route to heaven
Or a one-way ticket to hell
We'd never know would we
Until we're out of this prison cell.
Is it any greener out there
Is it greener on the other side
Is it worth the risks we take
Is it worth dying for love's sake?

Are we afraid of Death?
I sure am not
Not a fear that works in me-
Just blatant respect

Some say 'Life is valuable'
Who know what its worth?
What they say and what they mean
Might just be some empty words.
I refuse to die
I refuse to live
On other's terms
Or other's dreams
Life's no flower
To be preserved with care
It'll wither and fall
In our silent stare
Love the risks I take
Mylife's my own
Will live it my own way

'One should be sensible'
Who know what sense is
Is it what this society says
The same the propagetes violence
The same that discredits honorable death
Yet takes the lives of such
Who were not to die

If one were to live only for love
What about all those broken hearts
Should they be all dead
Or living in shells of created misery
Some play with their hearts at stake
Some die for incredulous 'love'
But aren;t they cowards
Who ne'er got to know
The value of their own lives

Maybe someday you'll realise
Maybe all I said is all shit
Maybe you need to learn more..
Maybe




Some dark stuff mate.. but don't lose heart.. it gets better later... :D

IRONY

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...
                                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                      "Ironic" - ALANIS MORISSETTE

What then is 'irony'? "Irony is a form of utterance that postulates a double audience,
consisting of one party that hearing shall hear & shall not understand, & another party that, when more is meant than meets the ear, is aware both of that more & of the outsiders’ incomprehension." [H. W. Fowler in Modern English Usage] The irony of this statement is
that it does not hold true for most cases as Modern English Usage is a book from 1939, reprinted in 1959 and we'd all agree the world and the language of the world has all but changed from then. The whole point of irony (if there is at all any) is that it is rooted in the time-space continium. A critique of something that exists now or existed in the past in the form of acceptance of the subject- with undertone of disregard, contempt, or sarcasm. The question is where does irony end and cynicism take over. Of course one may say that they
are one and the same thing (and I will disagree), but as far as irony is concerned - it does require a greater understanding of the world around, for only then can one question and resort to this form of criticism. A cynic will criticise and hold the other in contempt 
regardless of his or her own understanding of the subject for one is then rooted in the arogance that, what one knows is beyond judgemnt or question- by any party- especially
one seemingly less equipped than him or her.

The reason I choose this topic today, is because I see Irony & Cynicism taking over our world today- in our thoughts, words and actions. We do not believe in what we say, and do not say what we truly believe. We hear sincere words and question the speaker's validity; pass judgement on the human race- forgetting we are part of it. A quest to prove ourselves superior has led to a facade of near-blind belief in the Supremacy of 'I, Me and My Life'. 
We forget we are also 'We', for without 'We', we do not exist- our lives are empty dreams, 
our reasons are scattered, our words are but false. There is war going on - a battle of thought
 and ideals.  We feel that, well 'my words do not count. I may just say something about someone- especially about those who I do not like or who do not confirm to
 my belief system and what difference will it make.' Well it does make a difference. Therein lies the roots of Dogmatism- and gives rise to the great Evil of Fanaticism. There is a battle going on in the world today- against igonrance, against devilish irony. What do We do?

Who do we trust- what do we believe in and where do our beliefs lead us? "Language is our chief means for the expression and communication of thought. Thoughts and beliefs may reveal themselves in non-linguistic behaviour,
but they are only directly expressed linguistically. Without thought
there could be no language, but without language, most kinds of thought would be impossible." [Henry Laycock, Queen’s University, Canada]

It is important for us to develop our thought- our language of expression- polish ourselves, so to speak- make sure we are heard and understood, and really really make sure we understand each person right. There are situations we can't avoid, but how we tackle them will be the key to making this world a safer place to live in. Maybe I am not the person you should listen to-
at least listen to the person next to you and listen to yourself- at least listen.

"...an article in Slate, Microsoft's on-line magazine" talks of  "a poignant little story by Michael Hirschorn about his struggle to achieve freedom from irony. He had come to the mournful conclusion that, in this period of history, irony promotes emotional dishonesty. He was giving it up, the way others give up cigarettes or alcohol. He wrote about trying to achieve sincerity by responding honestly to all questions and by actually enjoying (rather than sneering at) culture and humanity."

This is often called an age of irony, and certainly public life is coloured by what Samuel Johnson defined as: 'A mode of speech in which the meaning is contrary to the words.'
Recent careers have been built on irony, such as David Letterman's and Jerry Seinfeld's.
But, of course, irony has been with us since antiquity. Anatole France, who won the 1921 Nobel Prize for literature, claimed that a world without irony would be like a forest without birds: 'Irony is the gaiety of meditation and the joy of wisdom.' Irony, both a figure of speech and a way of looking at the world, lay beneath Jane Austen's style and gave Socrates his way of teaching. Shakespeare made Mark Antony the theatre's most famous ironist by having him call Julius Caesar's assassins 'honourable men,' meaning they were dishonourable men. Almost anyone in the United States who says 'I believe the president' is an ironist."

That's just the problem, according to the new irony police: It makes cynics of us all. We are irony-oppressed. Mockery has become a way of life (in the Elizabethan era, irony was sometimes called 'drye mocke'). It's elitist, too: It depends on double meaning and a double audience, divided into those who understand and those who don't. It corrodes honest speech and honest feeling while encouraging greed and cruelty. Irony, its enemies say, is private, selfish and indifferent, while earnestness is public, generous and concerned. For those who dislike the tone of life as we live it now, irony has become a villain."
 
Not long ago, a piece in the Minneapolis Star Tribune said irony is "crippling" the youth of America. Novelist David Foster Wallace has argued, in the Review of Contemporary Fiction, that irony is an agent of 'great despair and stasis in U.S. culture.' He blames television: People love or need television, and yet hate it at the same time, so they "try to disinfect themselves . . . by watching TV with weary irony."

In the book, 'For Common Things: Irony, Trust, and Commitment in America Today' Jedediah Purdy, tries nothing less than an attempt to alter the spirit of the times. Irony, says Purdy, makes us incapable of expressing sincere feelings or trusting in the feelings of others: "The point of irony is a quiet refusal to believe in the depths of relationships, the sincerity of motivation, or the truth of speech -- especially earnest speech."

Purdy admires the great ironists, such as Michel de Montaigne (who identified solemn self-righteousness as a major cause of war), Jonathan Swift and Mark Twain. But he believes that the prevalent contemporary form of irony cripples us, particularly young people, by draining words of meaning and moral weight. Purdy believes the current wave of irony originates in fear -- 'fear of betrayal, disappointment and humiliation, and a suspicion that believing, hoping, or caring too much will open us to these.' He keeps reaching for epigrams, but never quite gets there: 'The ironic sensibility inhibits the act of remembering how to value what you value.' Still, he makes a few points well. In the individual given to irony, 'wariness becomes a mistrust of language itself. He disowns his own words."

Insightful that his is, "for his part, Purdy seems unable to see the difference between irony and cheap cynicism. Purdy's intentions are honourable, and his perspective promising, but he writes with enough self-importance to give sincerity a bad name." [Robert Fulford's column about irony, Globe and Mail, September 18, 1999]

For me cynicysm is a drink spiked with poison- eating at our emotions and our sense of sincerity and free will. Irony- well you make out what you will. We look at contradictions and say- 'well what was it you were talkin about?' I say contradictions WILL be there. People WILL differ in their opinions- that's what makes us human. I believe we need to reach out more- see more- feel more. If even then we feel the world's such an ironical place to live in, well we're in for not-so-good a time in the not-so-far future. And if we come to realise that, yes, maybe, just maybe with a bit of effort, a bit of compassion and a bit of serious reconsideration of our own ideals and beliefs we can actually enjoy the world we live in- in spite of its seeming contradictions- well isn't that what'heaven' is all about?


Thanks to anyone who actually read the entire thing.
Ain't that ironical that I write a blog for all to read without at all expecting anyone to actually to do so!
Adios

Freedom

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Originally uploaded by Revolution[s]

A different dream.

Funny. We imagine. and we dream. Sometimes wonder if we started walking and walking, whether we'd
reach where we started(the earth is kinda round u'know - but i dn know swimming that well). I imagined
myself to be a pilot, a detective, a rocket-scientist, a dragon-slayer, a chai-walla, a nobody, a somebody, a corporate (for the 1st few days after i took up commerce in school. kids these days u'know. misguided. poor fellas)... hah even a rock-star. Never a film-maker. Never an artist of vision, sound, and thought, emotion, passion, notion. Funny part is i never stopped dreaming. Still dream of the dragons and the 'leprechauns'.
Of solving crimes of collosal magnitude! Living the bindas/hardcore life of a chai-walla... And now I attempt to make those dreams a reality. Now my Hero goes on the voyage for me. Shucks! Can even walk around the whole world and reach where it started. Life is funny. I suppose we never really let go of who we are, just learn the language of the world so we can listen, speak, shout, whisper - maybe just be silent. but be Heard. N if u can master the art of dreaming within and beyond reality - my frnd u are an achiever. Un r not then abnormal - u r exceptional! 'Master of ur mind, rather than let ur mind master u'. The heart ain't where the home is - the home is where the heart is. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I'm just misguided. Think I'll just keep on walking.

Infinite Mercy I

Give me a chance,
Maybe two.
Deserving I am not,
For the sins of the father and the son
Too great for just simple passing.
A flicker in the distance
Tells me we have lost.
Too great a burden you have carried
Pain unwanted, but still
Willingly- knowingly
You, mother
Undertake.
What can I do?
What is your plan?
In your infinite mercy you let me live.
Now let me prove.

Change

What can I do?
How can I make a difference?
How can I bring change?

You don’t have to be an activist to make a difference in the world. If you
care deeply about the state of the world or even your own neighbourhood
but you can’t seem to be able to devote your whole life to this cause, here are some ideas to help you live your values by choosing simple yet effective actions that you can take every day After all, one is the mother of ten thousand and seemingly small actions taken individually by millions of people can change the world. This is the power of one, this is the power you have.

HOME:
• Use energy-efficient bulbs and appliances.
• Use water sparingly. Turn off the tap while you shave or brush your teeth.
• Avoid shower baths. Use buckets.
• Turn off the light and bulb switches when you step out of a room.
• Use environment-friendly detergents and cleaners.
• Live in a smaller home. Keep it clean, pest-free.

WORK:
• Make people from diverse backgrounds feel welcome.
• Confront injustice in the workplace.
• Value people over profit.
• Work to make your company more socially and environmentally responsible.
• Recycle paper. Use paper on both sides.
• Use your current job skills to make some difference to the world around you.
• Speak up if you see any one getting harassed unfairly or on sexual grounds.

FOOD:
• Don’t waste or throw away food.
• Reduce meat consumption; eat more fruits, vegetables, grains and raw foods.
• Eat healthy, sensible, preferably home-cooked food.

SHOPPING:
• Buy less stuff.
• Buy products with eco-packaging.
• Stop using plastic bags. Bring your own cloth bag.
• Reduce food packaging; buy in bulk.
• Don’t use products that have been tested on animals.
• Support local growers and grocers.
• Boycott socially irresponsible companies.

FRIENDS/FAMILY:
• Make quality time for loved ones.
• Choose interactive, involving modes of entertainment.
• Don’t encourage your children to play video games or with toys which promote violence.
• Encourage your children to learn something new every day.
• Encourage creative expression through, music, writing, arts, crafts, and conversation.

COMMUNITY
• Get to know your neighbours.
• Greet the liftman, thank the security guard, say hello to the old gentleman in the park.
• Donate your time and effort to some social cause, even if it’s one hour a month.
• Attend meetings of your building society.
• Get involved with your local ALM or citizens’ organisation.
• Support local arts and culture.
• Keep the front of your building or your shop clean.
• Bag all garbage responsibly.
• Start a vermiculture unit in your building.
• Encourage every one in the building to plant saplings.
• Protest if parks or open land is encroached upon.
• Protest if water bodies are filled up indiscriminately.
• Know your rights as a citizen.
• Be on friendly terms with your local police station.

ENVIRONMENT
• Stop littering.
• Stop spitting paan juice.
• Don’t smoke in public places. In fact, don’t smoke!!
• Use clean fuels.
• Don’t use fireworks that pollute.
• Don’t honk.
• Don’t urinate in public spaces.

MEDIA
• Watch less TV. Support non-commercial TV.
• Read something every day.
• Read something that expands your mind and horizons.
• Write letters to the Editor. Be heard.
• Reduce junk mail.
• Don’t encourage pornography.

TRANSPORT
• Set up a carpool for school and/or office.
• Go on a daily walk.
• Learn to ride a bicycle.
• Cycle or walk whenever possible.
• Take public transport.
• Don’t take your car out of the garage once a week.

POLITICS
• Vote.
• Get to know the people who are standing for election, their background and record.
• Support a party that reflects your values.
• Contact your local representative and share your views.

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
• Powerful social change begins with powerful individual change. Become someone who inspires peace by his or her presence.
• Be a bridge, not a divider.
• Strive first to have dialogue.
• Reconsider your priorities.

“A great human revolution in the life of one single individual can change the destiny of society, the nation, and indeed that of entire humankind.”
Daisaku Ikeda
President, Soka Gakkai International



**Created by Bharat Soka Gakkai
**Not official document. Please do not distribute as such. But feel free to spread the message. [Palash]

Arkham Asylum

Gotham
Rain. A dry smile. A wet kiss from the skies. A pain he has felt many times before. The death of a dear friend,
nemesis and all around bad guy. He did not want it. But, it has happened.

He stands calm, maybe torn inside. "No better". Maybe not. The question mark always remains. But he is the
chosen one. So many try. Farce mostly. Only he is there- in the shadows. Black shines in black. Bullets fly- 
free for all; blades shimmer as they rush to fulfill their mission. He risks it all; puts it all out there- every night. 
How many choose to do so- question more important is why do they choose to do so? No reason you say- just plain
ol' justice n peace. No glory you say. I believe you are all about the glory- the most glorified over-hyped monsters-
far more dangerous than those you put down. Distorted role models. Peace don't begin with death- the only
death required for peace and justice and truth is the death of the lesser soul. Only thing you are interested in
IS your lesser self. The one in the shadows.

Arkham Asylum- the place for the true genius'. The man caught between two worlds- two personalities- two faces.
Aren't we all that- not one but two- maybe more. Doesn't he just put it out there. Make us realise. Bring out our
better faces. Ivy. Nature lover. Okay- distorted ideals. But passionate about the green- how many of us are. She gets
put down. ??The Riddler?? No one ever realised it wasn't just about the riddles- but the questions- he
questioned society- he questio9ned you. Yes- 'pure evil' they are- so you say. What if they change? No one ever counts
on that do they.

What would be accomplished from Arkham? Just fuel their desirefor world domination. While yo do the same- 
only you wear a flashy suit- all of you- The Red n blue, the spider, the ones in the flashy underwears -
all of you! Maybe you are better than the rest- so you say. But, Gotham, nay- the world is counting on you.
The kids of our future want peace. They want a future free of hate. They want to smile free. Can you ensure that?
All of you living in the present- all of you thinking you did a great deed- helped a friend- killed a monster
(maybe a fellow human) - satisfied your feel-good ego... think beyond your lesser selves. 
Think of the future. Think. Only change can lead to real victory.

The smile. It seems to fade now. I like you. Was a kid when I first saw you. Still feels like home.
But I too have to change. If you are getting all this, then listen. The time is now. The time is not past.
The chance is not gone. As the old ones always say- 'the world is yours to change.' I say, you change-
and the world will follow of its own accord- even Arkahm Asylum and all it holds.