Diaries and memories... I

I found a diary in my cupboard.. y'kno whr I keep my secret stash of pirates gold and the first print of my past life's autobiography- of course I did not write the bio.. someone else did. I just dictated. I was a bird then, an eagle, and some chap heard me and wrote about me- "The Know-how edition on Eagles". I that dairy I found in bold.. (this one in my hand).. AVOID GURLS.. I dunno why i write 'girls' as 'GURLS' (pronounce the same) but I wrote this in class VII. Heck
know why!! What a joke .. as if girls CAN be avoided.. :D

Ok the diary:  [1997-2002]
Its really fascinatingly wierd now that I read all that I wrote in it.. some I can't mention- not cos they are private,
but cos they are just too much crap!! (I wonder if I'll think the same of all that I'm writing now, say 10 years down the line. I'm sure I will.) But what the heck.. I'm gonna bring some out.. Now don't be scared.. I wrote some crazed out shit.. but I do like some of my work.. Butin some.. Man I was Angry back then.. Will probably scan some of my drawings back then n uplowad them sometime.. again don't be scared.. Just read on.

Disclaimer: The author of the following was too dumb and probably still is so, so read at own risk. Please do not file lawsuit against him for breaching his own childhood self's trust and cruelly printing such dumb shit. Thank you. Enjoy.




Random Thoughts

I smile when I feel like crying
End up laughing the whole day
To skip those tears
I face my fears
A splash of red on this life so grey

Is this the route to heaven
Or a one-way ticket to hell
We'd never know would we
Until we're out of this prison cell.
Is it any greener out there
Is it greener on the other side
Is it worth the risks we take
Is it worth dying for love's sake?

Are we afraid of Death?
I sure am not
Not a fear that works in me-
Just blatant respect

Some say 'Life is valuable'
Who know what its worth?
What they say and what they mean
Might just be some empty words.
I refuse to die
I refuse to live
On other's terms
Or other's dreams
Life's no flower
To be preserved with care
It'll wither and fall
In our silent stare
Love the risks I take
Mylife's my own
Will live it my own way

'One should be sensible'
Who know what sense is
Is it what this society says
The same the propagetes violence
The same that discredits honorable death
Yet takes the lives of such
Who were not to die

If one were to live only for love
What about all those broken hearts
Should they be all dead
Or living in shells of created misery
Some play with their hearts at stake
Some die for incredulous 'love'
But aren;t they cowards
Who ne'er got to know
The value of their own lives

Maybe someday you'll realise
Maybe all I said is all shit
Maybe you need to learn more..
Maybe




Some dark stuff mate.. but don't lose heart.. it gets better later... :D