Yesterday

I took a plunge, knowing nothing of where I would land up. Felt exciting, felt scary, and most of all felt sad. For the plunge was with a friend's emotion. Didn't know how she would react, didn't feel right, but didn't have any other choice- no chioce left by one's own stupid heart. Found reason to believe I was right. I still believe so, but the mess up don't begin there. tey begin lifetimes back, but who is to listen, and who is to amend. the beginning of wars starts from the single word. the end of relationships- friendships all, from the single word. wish one could take back a single word, and like so a thousand- words, deeds, a million thoughts. maybe someday things will work out. i believe they always do. then again i believe a lot of things. besides my faith wht is there to vouch for any of them.

Intoxication

A willingful deceit,
Smoking bullets of trained passion
From the hands of known fiends
Smiling tears
Poured in pegs
By one and no less
Tormented soul
Freedom unjustified by the incessant noise
In my ear when I'm drunk
I'm intoxicated with you
With me
With life in general
Wake me up
From this unreasonable stupor
Is this me?

King for a day

Cant make the day any better
Cant think of easier paths
Smiles pass me by on the desolate highway
Today is the day I come to life..

Emerge!
Dissolve out of the dark blue
Of endless oceans of my mind
Rise above the inequities
That dot this prized universe
Free me from me and you
Freedom for solitude
Heavy price, some might say
Have you been king for a day?

Yesterday is always good
Life is simpler
You were true
Love was pure
Untainted hearts
Treasured, cherished
And warm all around
Experiments in time bending
Fast-slow, easy acceptance
Wish today was any different
Oh yes, today is.

They rule the solid mind
They seem to think divine
They have their reasons fair
I've got this to declare
A king is not questionable
A king is beyond reason
The rule under the watchful eye
Of the sovereign, parent and teacher
Treasure these days beyond measure
Experience does not come cheap
Is that blood,
Is that ink?
Doesn't matter,
It looks good
Scarlet ribbons across the ocean floor
A sign of my grandeur
A lost treasure
Sought for centuries, I'm sure
Today I am King for a day.

Palash Mitra
Oct 26, 2007

Exciting times!!

Last two weeks - hectic, crazy, strict, freedom of choice, run down by past defects, reason to belive that there is purpose, reason to defy/challenge/fail to decipher that purpose, failing health, mostly my relationship with my stomach is strained (y'know how it is... stomachs these days), non-communicative, mistake on my part, losing vital documents, mistake on my part, feeling joyful, yet sad, typical, need vacation, won't be getting one anytime soon, Delhi fabulous trip- learning, realisation, at times pain at not-so-welcome information, let down, uplifted, insiteful- human nature is freaky, but pleasant in varied circumstances, life force is the whole deal, commitment is the basic matter, you are your best judge, others your best witness, your best parameter, strictness- a means, not an end, leadership- a responsibility, a reality, not a tag, a badge or a sign or greater capability; art- a wonder, till unleashed upon the world, then only a consumer item, also dressing sense, i confirm that i have none whatsoever, Bourne Ultimatum- good film; series of trips and meetings- quoting my favourite person, myself- tiring but sattisfying- rather not just satisfying, but highly necessary for the fulfillment of one's desires- for one's happiness, others' and more of us, and them.

Finally the question that remains on our minds- burning as I speak of the days past and those to come- the question of not what is to come, not what has been the outcome, not the reason I drink too uch coffee, or the reason I quit smoking in 2004, the Question that is to be asked, maybe answered, maybe I won't- but then



Am I Excited?
About the days ahead
About the life stretching in front of me for all eternity
About the dreams I dreamt in the warmth of cocoa
About the hoarseness after I add sound to some words, others 'sing'
About what I am about to accomplish, however mighty or maybe small
About Revolution[s]


[A]: yeah, yes, Yes, YEs, YES, YESS!!!

Its damn exciting!!!

Another draft from Sept-Oct 07... I know am just to lazy to type new posts....

Past couple of weeks have been killer..

The exhibition (Written Image, solo exhibition by Hiran Mitra, at Japan Chitra Gallery at Part Street, Kolkata- 3rd to 17th of October 2007) has been a moderate success as of now. The books printed at rocket speed, have been sold off likewise. The response to the show has been quite good, though sales are not yet up to the mark. We hope to strike better next time. this was of course the first exhibit put up after the Foundation set up base in Kolkata, so its all learning (when is it not!).

Delhi Training Course- went off to Delhi, in the midst of exhibition opening, on the 30th of November, to return on the 4th morning. We were 14 of us, 12 students from diverse backgrounds, and from all parts of the city, but with a shared purpose, a lofty goal, and great deal of fun thrown in! It was a tremendous experience for me, as this is my 6th trip to SBTG, Gurgaon, on behalf of BSG, but every trip has been a fresh and joyful experience. This time especially as we got to interact with some senior members during our stay with them.  Life 
seems so different, so much more exciting once you have been to the Soka Bodhi Tree Garden! It makes one aware of the great family we are part of! The All India Student Division Meeting was held on the 2nd of October, what an auspicious day! A gathering of 1200 bright, young faces, burning with a shared commitment to realise peace on this planet! Ah what a glorious occasion!
Of course, right after coming back, obstacles abound as expected, but its all part of the deal, isnt it. Cant feel nothing but joy, when faced by all these challenges- especially in career and family front!

Just about fit in a day trip to Pune, as work piles up and Durga Pujo approaches.. Of course I would like to mention that this year's celebation is quite special, but that's for another time!

Work

Just a post I had forgotten to post... 

Its been a busy day.. and night! Have been working since day before -straight- no sleep! The only break was a half hour time-out -that too just went out to get some supplies for the regiment- after all the soldiers need food and water, y'know.. of course there was enuf water!! The whole city seemed to be under water... or at least just about floating! But really its such a gratifying feeling when there's a job well done.. of course there are crisis moments- esp the few min before a deadline.. but man the rush is exciting! Been working about 40 odd hours.. in the past 2 days.. of course there's tiredness, but there's also the envigorating feeling of having done something of worth! Bottomline I love to work- esp when I enjoy whatever work I do.. :D

'Running shoes'- a script I am workin on is coming fine.. once we go into production -say in a month or two- I'll publish the script. (Just a mention- I am a bad bad script-writer, but our writer is down with food-poisoning n I'm the only one positioned right to come up with something that we can work with... how unfortunate) Nyways I do hit those blanks when the only dialogue that comes to my mind is "Hi, y'knw, this is some interestin shit!"... Believe that's my favourite line.. got Labyrinth to vouch for that..
(For those who have not been baptised to Palashology 'The Labyrinth' is my/our first film o any worth). So comin to the basic point.. 'Running Shoes' is comin fine by my standards.. have finished 8 pages of script in this last 2 weeks (lolz .. any script-writer knows that attests to my suckiness as such!!) Also a second script is on its way.. this is for a documentary-- rather a biopic of sorts.. details for later(undercover ops u see).. And work for the firm. The firm's also building well. the momentum's great. Just takes some time to getting used to.. Hope whoever takes over after I'm done can handle the pressure. Nyways all bout it later... Right now.. I think I forgot lunch. Wonder y I'm feelin so hungry!! ;D

N.B.- I did have lunch later. Running Shoes is still in development phase. This post was written about a year back. The 'regiment' is currently on break from duty, on account of lack of funds. The firm(Art Borderline India) is actually doing ok now, with fresh recruits. My script-writing skills still suck. I actually got to about 15-18pages of script over the next 4 months since writing the above post.

I can see clearly now...

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone,
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day

Oh yes I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Here is the rainbow I've been prayin' for
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun-Shiny day

Look all around, there's nothin' but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin' but blue skies


The only thing is I don't see blue skies. For one its raining heavily for the past 3 days. Past few days have been as usual hectic, with the company setting up, and 'Running shoes' developing not so smoothly, its been a roller-coaster ride (as expected, of course). In the middle of it, we had 2 wonderful meetings on Sunday. The sheer joy and the passion of our mothers and aunts' in putting together such an occasion is admirable and tremendously inspiring to say the least! The rain was hardly a deterrent and so many women turned up, braving the storm and the water-clogging shows how, when you have the spirit to challenge and the spirit to seek happiness, nothing can be anobstacle. Happiness resides within each one of us and its an amazing sensation! The women's division members of our organisation (a global NGO) really proved that they are living for a true cause- a mission to change the world through their own lives. I just hope some of the youth of today take a page out of this.

So of course, I gave duty at the meetings- very fortunate on my part. Though the evening meeting was also bit embarrasing to say the least- my dear mother started speaking about me and how I was this n that n all that before, and how through her own life-transformation she hsa brought about such a change not only in me, but in the whole family order... Anyways it was fun too. :D

But work work n work... The rains have pretty much brought all my work to a standstill. Rabin, the guy who works in my office is brave- he came all the way from way out of town, in spite of the raging storm. Will have to appreciate that sometime. However, the printing is not working out- cos of the rains the print isn't drying as fast as it should and with the exhibition approaching, ts imperaive that the invitations are sent out asap - today would have been a good day to do that. The pace at which the office is being fixed is also frustrating. The plumbing guys need to work outside and cos of the rains they 
can't of course. Let's see.. right now the entire plumbing- bit of the electrical stuff, the paint, and the carpentry is left. After which the office will be all set for proper business. Its good learning for me - as I plan on setting up my own company very soon.. Aah my dream project.
Anyways the rains are being a damper.
I generally am a fan of the rains. It makes me feel fresh - almost as if the sins of Man are washed away- a new lease of life given with every drop- a new sound created by every surface the rain touches, a new reason to smile, a new sensation amidst the old familiarity of love-worn faces. I can see clearly now with the rain falling on me.... The obstacles will always be there... The dark clouds seem brighter today.

Oh yes I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared...

Nice day to you...

Good mornin... bonjour...bonjornio... hola
How are we feeling today? Aah a new day.. the sun tips past the horizon.. racing with its own light. How wonderful it feels to wake up to a new day! However today I am alien to that feeling. Not for the fact that its not a nice day. But I haven't waken up- One needs to sleep to wake up. I know health is wealth- that's why I'm struggling with my finances. Heh Work pressure's real nice n sweet. She's kept me up for more than a week now. Got to flirt with Slumber just once about 3-4 days back... Man, I miss my bed. :( But work is work, and no compromise there. Just have to figure out a way to balance them. Prayer is the key. Open up your life and do more! Have to win in all spheres... Tough challnges ahead. But its fun!

Now I have to go get some veggies and meat from the market... Dad's outta town, n I love the smell of the market... wish I had time to do this on a regular basis. But its cool. As much as one can do- and try to make it count, right? Anyways enough of it. Its just plain shopping, man.. Ebar jai, else I won't get the fresh veggies n Maya mashi (our house-keeper) won't have time to cook.. N I won't get to eat at home.. And I dn like that...

A mistake...

Hope life's been good to you since you've been gone
I'm doing fine, I finally moved on
Its not so bad, Im not that sad
I'm just surprised how well I survived
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
My heart only breaks when its beating
So I hold my breath to forget
Don't think I'm lying around crying at night
C'mon, destiny is what you make of it, right?
Remember that I've always loved you
And nothing can change that...

[Written by a lost friend of mine- Dareen
Hope she is doing fine.
My prayers for you.]

Paradox II

The buildings stare at me
With those unblinking eyes
The sun is shy, today
The mood is not right
A deafenind roar,
Unending,
The sound of my heartbeat
Like a psychedelic drum
Played through the night
It reminds me always
Of the pain in joy
Looking for some reason
Where there ain't none.

2004